Gabriella Papadakis: “We prioritize performance so much that we forget about people’s well-being. We think: “We don’t care if you’re not well, as long as you have medals… And if you have medals, you’ll be happy.” But no!”
Translation of Gabriella Papadakis comments about mental health in sports.
original source: francetvinfo.fr dd. 22d march 2024 by Quentin Ramelet
Here’s a translation of Gabriella Papadakis comments =made in the interview with Franceinfo.
“Q: Gabriella, since almost two years and the announcement of your break, how has your life and your daily life changed?
Gabriella Papadakis: We’ve been in Montreal very little. We’ve traveled much more than we ever did, even though we were already traveling a lot. But it was nice to travel, and to be freer. All our lives, we have been so accustomed to having almost no vacations… Now, we have had more freedom, more autonomy, and less framework. I find that high-level sport allows and forces you to grow very quickly in certain aspects, but at the same time, it keeps you in a sort of permanent teenage bubble. Because you are supervised, you have coaches, daily tasks. This break allowed me to take a little distance, a step back, just healthily, to individualize myself more. To think about myself.
For over eight years, my life hasn’t changed. What was very new, very adult at 19, well at 27, it’s much less so!
Q: How long did you not get on the ice for when you announced your break?
Gabriella Papadakis: I’m not sure exactly, I’d say about two months. It was the first time in my life… And it was great! [She bursts out laughing] There’s also the fact that in Montreal, and Canada, mental health is a much less taboo subject than in France, and that’s really good.
Q: Precisely, during your career, in the world of figure skating, do you feel that you have been well supported in this aspect?
Gabriella Papadakis: [Long silence] No! Not at all! [She bursts out laughing nervously] No, no and no! I think in sports – and more and more people are saying it – we prioritize performance so much that we forget about people’s well-being. We think: “Because it’s a sport, we’ll forget about it.” I think we need to rethink this way of thinking in figure skating. We think too much in a way: “We don’t care if you’re not well, as long as you have medals… And if you have medals, you’ll be happy.” But no!
Q: Weren’t you happy during your career?
Gabriella Papadakis: Who has been happy all their life? It would be too easy, and we all have our issues in life.
Q: We can feel that you are particularly worked up, even annoyed, about the situation and the current system in the world of figure skating…
Gabriella Papadakis: The problem is that we allow, accept and even normalize a lot of violence. And we think that the results are just going to erase or cancel them out, or allow everything to be forgiven. But no! I sincerely believe that these violent actions are not necessary for success. There are still many systemic problems even though there has been improvement, and a lot of evolution.
Q: More and more great champions speak about their distress and even about their depression that may have arisen after success… Have you also had the feeling of having been caught up at some point by a psychological and emotional overload?
Gabriella Papadakis: Yes. [She takes a pause] It’s as if all the things that I had ignored – and that I had put in little boxes all my career – were starting to come out.
I was in denial. I didn’t realize it because it was triggered by things that are normalized around me. And I kept saying to myself: ‘Come on! Keep going, keep going, keep going!’ And at some point, bam! I hit the wall.
It started a little before Covid, then it really hit during the pandemic. All of a sudden, I found myself alone. I had no competition, no adrenaline, nothing. Nothing. All of a sudden, bam! You look at yourself in the mirror, and you tell yourself that you’re going to have to deal with certain things.
Q: How did you hold on when you were in full preparation for the Beijing Olympics?
Gabriella Papadakis: Honestly, I don’t think I did much [to feel better] before the Games. I felt it was very existential, about a lot of my past achievements and about the [therapeutic] work to be done. I think a part of my brain was telling me: “If I do this before the Games, I won’t be able to go and train anymore, and I’ll be over everything.” But that’s normal, because therapy is always like that: it first gets even worse before getting better.
Q: What allowed you to stick it out in the end?
Gabriella Papadakis: I admitted my denial, I told myself: “We put the blinders on and we go for it!” But I didn’t know what I was in denial about.
Q: At that time, didn’t you wonder what the consequences of all this could have on you?
Gabriella Papadakis: No, because I was so eager to get my medal. I just said: “Come on, let’s go for it!” And I have absolutely no regrets.
Q: Can this gold medal justify everything in that case?
Gabriella Papadakis: No, it’s not that it justifies everything, but at least there’s that medal, and it’s very cool. It also allows me to end on something beautiful, before digging into the past, and into all the messes. After that, I don’t want to say that I’ve only experienced awful things and that my career is horrible. No, of course not. That’s not the case at all, but it’s good to talk about it. Plus, I would say that the biggest part of my sorrow was feeling alone, besides my closest ones and my partner, of course.
I felt like I was the only one who saw that there were things that were wrong, that had hurt me, that had been a bit unhealthy in the past, and that I still bear the scars of.
When I talked to many close friends, especially to female skaters, everyone told me: “Yes, after my career, it also happened to me. Even though my career was very beautiful, it took me years to make peace with certain things.”
Related topics: Gabriella Papadakis Guillaume Cizeron
A lovely honest and frank interview. Gabriella is Greek in origin and I lived in Greece for 50 yes. I have also been a skater ( recreational) most of my life and have never had these type of pressures from top competition but I understand you completely. I am glad Gabriella you are finding your way through and I wish you lots of joy and peace in your coming years.
Thank you, Gabriella, for your honesty and openness.