Gabriella Papadakis: “Guillaume’s public statements reflect the relationship we had. All the arguments are the same ones he used in our relationship to minimize my words, to discredit me, and that were part of his control.”
Olympic champion Gabriella Papadakis reveals the toxic dynamics and personal struggles she experienced in her partnership with Guillaume Cizeron, her journey to reclaim her voice, and her hopes to inspire change for women in figure skating and sports.
original source: Le Figaro dd. 29th January by Leonie Dutrievoz
In an interview with Le Figaro, Gabriella Papadakis discusses the hidden struggles behind her figure skating success, the control and trauma she endured, and the broader issues of power and silence in the sport, as well as the repercussions following the publication of her book.
Q: You wrote this book shortly after ending your competitive career and partnership with Guillaume Cizeron. Did you have time to gain perspective on what you went through and the traumas you experienced?
Gabriella Papadakis: I first did that work in therapy, before starting to write the book. I wanted to tell something sensitive, well-understood, with a certain distance. I wanted to be sure not to make mistakes, not to say just anything.
Q: Were there passages that were harder to write than others?
Gabriella Papadakis: All of my relationship with my former partner. It was very recent, and you don’t escape control overnight. There were many moments when I still doubted myself, doubted what had happened to me. I would ask my friends, my boyfriend, everyone: “Are you sure I’m not crazy?” I needed reassurance, to hold on to reality so I wouldn’t fall back into that kind of control and denial I’d been trapped in for so long.
Q: You discovered figure skating very young thanks to your mother, who is a coach. What were your beginnings as a skater like?
Gabriella Papadakis: My mother became a coach very early, at 19. When she was pregnant with me, she worked until eight months along, and I was always told I almost was born on the ice. I don’t really remember my beginnings because I was too young, about four years old. I was often at the rink because my mother raised me alone at the time. All I wanted was to put on skates and join her. I started at four, loved it, and never stopped.
Q: You then met Guillaume Cizeron, who became your partner, allowing you to compete…
Gabriella Papadakis: We were nine or ten at the time. I knew Guillaume because he had been skating at the same club as me for two or three years. We competed together and were great friends, even before we started skating as a pair. We clicked right away; training was a lot of fun, and we got along well. I was skating with my best friend. That’s how it all started.
Q: In your book you write: “People often thought that success happened to me in spite of myself.” Why is that?
Gabriella Papadakis: I always had a very relaxed attitude in a pretty rigid environment. But when people got to know me, they realized I had a level of drive that surpassed everyone else’s. All day, I would skate in my head to rehearse. But on the outside, you couldn’t see it.
Q: Did Guillaume have that same drive?
Gabriella Papadakis: We wouldn’t have gotten where we did if we both didn’t have a certain drive. I think we were compatible in that way, and that’s largely what allowed us to succeed. But we showed it differently. Guillaume’s drive, his need for control, was mostly directed at me.
Q: In your book, you talk about many traumas you experienced throughout your career that you had never spoken about before: rape, abortion, depression, Guillaume’s control… What allowed you to keep going and continue skating?
Gabriella Papadakis: Throughout my career, I kept telling myself: “I won’t give up until I get that medal.” That’s what kept me going, but at the same time, it unfortunately made me accept things that were unacceptable. But I had my passion for skating, my personal ambitions, and my desire to succeed. Even if I wasn’t aware of everything, I told myself: “I don’t want to let my traumas win and take over.” I hope that future generations won’t have to endure everything I did to succeed, because it’s very sad.
Q: You write: “In the world of skating, my body was not my own. It had to obey Guillaume. My appearance had to obey a value system that didn’t suit me. I belonged to my partner, to training, to the federation.” You describe this as if you were just an object. Is this issue still as present in the skating world?
Gabriella Papadakis: I don’t want to speak for others, but I know my experience is very common. It’s something I didn’t realize right away. It’s not the case for everyone – I know people who seem to be in healthy and happy situations, but I think they’re a minority. There’s a culture that encourages all this, too. There’s no one to protect women from the human failings that the competitive environment can bring out.
Q: Guillaume Cizeron called your statements “defamatory.” What did you think of his comments?
Gabriella Papadakis: His public statements reflect the relationship we had and what happened all those years. All the arguments he’s using publicly now are the same ones he used in our relationship to minimize my words, to discredit me, and that were part of his control. Did I expect it to become so big? Maybe not. When people speak out about these things – especially women – there are always consequences, unfortunately.
Q: You were supposed to commentate at the Milan-Cortina Olympics for NBC from February 6 to 22, but your former partner sent a cease-and-desist after your book was published, and the network dropped you. Did you expect this kind of repercussion?
Gabriella Papadakis: NBC made that decision because they were afraid of attacks from my former partner. But the real problem is societal. How is it that people who speak out about violence, who tell their stories, are penalized, rather than those who perpetrate the violence? That’s not something I blame on NBC. I think it’s a much bigger problem.
Related topics: Gabriella Papadakis, Guillaume Cizeron
y did u stay partners with him. y didnt u walk away. u werent married. there werent any kids.