Haein Lee: “If I were to give a hint about my new free program, it has a ‘Gypsy-like feeling.’ If I were to express it in colors, the short program would be blue, and the free program would be red.”
Translation of an article and interview with Haein Lee.
source: mfocus.kr dd. 5th August 2023 by Jimin Park
On April 16, 2023, the ISU World Team Trophy Gala Show took place.
On the previous day, the girl who led the Republic of Korea team to a silver medal with her first place finish in the women’s singles event took the stage. Under the spotlight, she chose the music “Never Enough,” which seemed to reflect her desire for higher leaps. After her performance, birthday wishes and applause poured down. She was Lee Haein, a national representative in figure skating, who had just turned 18 years old.
At the turning point between her teens and twenties, Lee Haein conveyed the story she wanted to share.
“When people see ‘Oh, she’s nervous,’ they get nervous and anxious as well. Rather than showing a tense and stressed appearance, I want to be a skater who show real art. I wish to be a skater who enjoys the ice and has fun, just as I do when I’m on the rink. And to excel at it!”
Haein took her first steps on the ice at the Lotte World Ice Rink near her home. Figure skating, once a casual sport for her, became a part of her life after she watched the “All That Skate” ice show in 2013. She also took after-school rhythmic gymnastics classes, but it was the dazzling costumes and skaters gliding on the ice that captivated 2nd-grade elementary school student Haein. How was her life different as a “figure skater” when she first participated in a competition?
“I started participating in competitions in 2nd grade of elementary school. Since then, I thought of myself as a ‘skater.’ When I got my first piece as a skater, it felt fascinating. I was still young, so memorizing the program was challenging. I had many lucky moments. Memorizing the program was difficult, and when the movements the coach taught didn’t turn out as I wanted, it was tough. I thought I did well, but when I saw the video, it didn’t look as good as I thought, and I felt disappointed.”
Three years later, Haein moved her training base to the Gwacheon Indoor Ice Rink. It was the same training rink where her role model, Kim Yuna, started skating, and it was also the place where the national champion at the time, You Young, practiced. Being in the presence of the “big skaters” seemed to have a positive effect, as Haein’s skills rapidly improved. At that time, she was given the nickname “Novice Ecosystem Destroyer” among figure skating circles. She continued her momentum in elementary-level competitions, but she would laugh bashfully, as if feeling embarrassed about it.
“I didn’t know I had such a nickname. People used to say, ‘There’s a skater who improves (jumps) quickly.’ So that’s all I knew. Honestly, I didn’t think I was doing well back then. When I learned a new jump, I would think, ‘I succeeded in this one!’ Then, when I did the next jump, it was like, ‘I succeeded in this one too!’ I rarely thought, ‘I’ll do better now.’ Instead, I thought a lot about wanting to learn jumps quickly.”
Haein’s upward trajectory continued even in the junior category after her triumph in the novice stage. In her international junior debut season in 2018, she secured a 2nd place at the ISU Junior Grand Prix Selection. In the main event, the Junior Grand Prix 6th event, she even won a bronze medal. She flawlessly performed both the short program and free skating, achieving an ‘all clean.’ However, it was a time when Russian skaters dominated the junior circuit, and the top two spots were taken by Russian skaters.
Nevertheless, Haein did not get discouraged. With a spirit of ‘I can have fun even by myself!’, she fully enjoyed her first medal and award ceremony. In the following year, she surpassed all Russian skaters and claimed the top spot at the ISU Junior Grand Prix. In the 2019 ISU Junior Grand Prix 3rd and 6th events, she won gold medals with an intense performance of “Firedance.” With this achievement, Haein became the first skater in more than 100 years of Korean figure skating to win both Junior Grand Prix events in a single season, following in the footsteps of Kim Yuna. This was an extraordinary record in Korean figure skating history.
“At that time (2019), all my friends who competed in the previous Junior Grand Prix events won medals. Instead of feeling nervous, I had a strong desire to win a medal myself. The 6th event took place in Zagreb, Croatia, where the previous season’s Junior World Championships were also held. I made a mistake on a double axel in the short program at the Junior World Championships, and when I was at the same rink, same line, and same transition during the Junior Grand Prix 6th event, that mistake kept coming to mind. Even on the morning of the Junior Grand Prix 6th event, I made a mistake during practice. I had been doing well in practice, but on the actual day of the event, I made a mistake, and my mom said her heart sank. It was also my mom’s birthday during the Junior Grand Prix 6th event, so I wanted to do well and make her happy. That’s why I remember being very happy after finishing the short program.”
During the 2019/2020 season, Haein truly shined. She qualified for the Junior Grand Prix Final and achieved a second-place finish in the Junior Grand Prix circuit rankings and the National Championships. She also earned a spot to compete in the Junior World Championships. In February 2020, she was introduced as a promising young skater during the ISU Four Continents Figure Skating Championships Gala held in Korea. Her path on the ice seemed smooth. However, in March of the same year, she faced a slump.
“The morning practice at the Junior World Championships didn’t go well for me. I was stumbling and lacked confidence, but I thought, ‘Let’s try our best until the end.’ However, the timing of my jumps was off, and my body felt more tense than usual, and I couldn’t get any height in my jumps. I didn’t expect to skate clean, but my body just wouldn’t cooperate. It felt like a nightmare, similar to the season before at the Junior Worlds in 2018 when mistakes kept piling up. I even wondered, ‘Why did this have to happen now?’
After the competition, when I returned to Korea, many people comforted me, saying, ‘Thank you for brining spots to the Junior Worlds.’ That gave me some comfort, but it felt like only a momentary relief. One day, I suddenly felt extremely unwell while having dinner. I took a lot of medicine and went to bed, but the next day, I started experiencing acid reflux. At that time, I seriously thought about quitting. Within two days, I lost almost 4kg. I lost all my muscles and felt weak. I didn’t want to vomit, so I hardly ate anything, which made it impossible to take medicine, and that made me feel even worse. I used to think I was good at split jumps, but when I tried to do a split jump, I came crashing down to the ice immediately. It was a huge shock for me at that time.”
“I completely forgot how to jump, and even though I tried to jump, I couldn’t remember how to do it. So I kept going around the rink in circles, trying to figure out how I used to do it, watching videos repeatedly. At first, I had no feeling for jumping, and then later, I became too afraid to attempt the jumps. I felt like if I did an axel, I wouldn’t be able to rotate, if I did a salchow, I would fall weirdly, and if I did a flip or a lutz, I felt like my ankle would twist and break. Since bad things kept happening, I became anxious about everything, thinking that something bad might happen again. That’s why jumping became even scarier.”
The slump persisted, and the acid reflux continued. On top of that, the COVID-19 pandemic led to the cancellation of even the senior Grand Prix events. In the third year of middle school, Haein had to constantly try to regain control over her body and mind that didn’t cooperate as she wished.
“My mom said something that gave me a lot of strength. She told me, ‘You can do anything, so just give it a try.’ After thinking about it, I realized that it would be better to skate with confidence even if I fell. Gradually, I started feeling better. When I jumped, I started using self-suggestions. For example, when attempting a double axel, I would tell myself, ‘If I can’t do this, I won’t be able to eat!’ When I thought, ‘If I can’t do it now, I’ll continue to be scared in the future,’ I decided to jump right away.
I also felt like I needed some changes, so I switched to a different team. It wasn’t an immediate improvement just because I went to a new coach (Shin Hea-sook). Nevertheless, I kept trying to improve, and the new skaters brought positive energy to the environment.”
As Haein described, not all of her problems were magically solved in an instant. However, was it her endless self-discipline and determination that helped her overcome the challenges? In 2021, Haein confidently secured her first senior world championship qualification among tough competitors at the national championships. It was a precious achievement after a long slump. Despite the twists and turns, she made her senior debut and finished in 10th place overall. Her free program at that time was inspired by the movie “Black Swan.” She recalled performing with her own situation and emotions in the choreography she personally created for the music “Perfection.”
“Like the main character Nina in ‘Black Swan,’ I felt like there were two aspects of myself reflected. On one hand, there was the part of me that was scared of jumps and just wanted to give up and run away, and on the other hand, there was the part of me that wanted to work hard and improve since I had come this far. I incorporated those feelings into a spontaneous movement I created. It was a choreography where I felt like I was stabbing my abdomen before attempting the salchow jump. I created it with the feeling of ‘eliminating the fearful me and being reborn anew.'”
In 2021, Haein showcased an astonishing performance at the ISU World Figure Skating Championships in Stockholm, Sweden. Commentators from various countries showered her with praises such as “a promising future” and “excellent skills.” Alongside Kim Yelim, she secured two spots for South Korea in the women’s singles event at the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics.
However, her dream of participating in the Olympics, which she had cherished since her junior days, had to wait for the next opportunity. During the 2021 National Championships, which served as the first Olympic selection event, she made a mistake and fell during the free skating program. Although she showed improvement in the final selection event, overcoming a 15-point difference was challenging.
“The day after the ranking competition, I cried a lot. I remember dragging my legs and walking the streets. While the Olympics are the Olympics, I was disappointed that I couldn’t perform clean in such an important national team selection event. I had a strong desire to become a confident national representative. However, when I made a mistake, I felt sad and wondered why it happened during the competition when I had done well in practice. Nevertheless, when my senior teammates went to the Beijing Olympics, I wholeheartedly supported them as a fellow athlete. Watching them on TV, I wondered how nervous they must have been.”
The word that summarized Haein’s 2022/2023 season was “enjoyment consultation.” Despite facing a tough time in the early season due to the flu and illness, she blossomed in the later part of the season. She achieved remarkable scores, surpassing 210 points in all three competitions: the Four Continents Figure Skating Championships, the World Figure Skating Championships, and the Team Trophy. Especially in the free skating, she consistently scored in the 140s. This was attributed to Haein’s strong determination and mindset.
During the French Grand Prix, which was still affected by the aftermath of the flu she had just experienced before Skate America, Haein adopted a new mindset of “enjoyment” for the first time. She revisited her original plan for the triple axel in the free skating and she felt less burdened. However, the decisive turning point came with the advice from her coach Chi Hyun-jung.
“In the short program of the French Grand Prix, I was really nervous. But then I realized that being nervous wouldn’t help. Just being invited to the Grand Prix already means that I am a good skater, so I thought, ‘Let’s do it with gratitude and enjoy it.’ After all, there aren’t many opportunities to perform in front of people like this. I started to feel that these moments were special. Lately, I’ve been thinking about wanting to get on the ice quickly during competitions.
My coach might not think that she provides care, but I feel like it’s actually a lot of help. During the ranking competition, I achieved a clean skate for the first time this season. At that time, I received a message from my coach Chi Hyun-jung saying, ‘Your performance with enjoyment was really great. Show that side of you more in the future.’ I thought, ‘Yes, I should do that. I should enjoy it from now on.'”
The World Team Trophy was also an event that couldn’t be left out of the enjoyment. Haein ranked first among world-class skaters in both the short program and the free skating. It was a personal joy for her, but it was also a great achievement for Team Korea. Through this performance, they made a huge leap into the medal contention. Thanks to Cha Junhwan’s first-place finish in the free skating, Team Korea achieved the impressive feat of second place in their debut at the competition.
As Team Korea had set their goal as the “cheering award,” Haein’s cheers echoed through the broadcast cameras. In media interviews, Haein was even regarded as Team Korea’s best cheerleader. She showcased perfect teamwork and communication, and heartwarming episodes of the team representative were shared.
“It was really so much fun back then. It was fun before we left, during the event, while we were there, and even before we returned. It was just all fun. Yelim and Sihyeong were already close, but it felt more like a family during the event, and I loved that feeling. I also became close with Hye-jin. And I really liked Hannah (Lim) ‘Dancse Macabre,’ so I watched her performance a lot during the final and tried to imitate it. We became friends, and I really enjoyed that. Before we left, Junhwan asked me if I had sunglasses. Then he said to bring them, so during the banquet, we put on sunglasses and took pictures together. (Laughs)”
The World Team Trophy was confirmed only after the end of the season, following the World Championships. As it takes place in April, which marks the conclusion of the figure skating season, there were also challenges related to physical stamina. However, once again, Haein delivered a flawless performance with perfect scores in both the short program and free skating, achieving her personal bests. But her breakthrough was not just in terms of scores; it was also a psychological victory, overcoming her own mental barriers.
“To be honest, I was completely exhausted at that time. But since it was the last competition, I tried to ease my mind and stand confidently. However, when I saw Team Korea looking at me with sparkling eyes, saying, ‘You can do well,’ it made me think, ‘Let’s do well!’
I also wore the same costume that I wore at the beginning of the season, and the thought crossed my mind, ‘What if I can’t wear this costume again after this?’ This season was my last chance to overcome these challenges. So, I thought, ‘I must perform clean.’ I wanted to show the inner voice that whispered, ‘You will make mistakes, you won’t perform well in this costume,’ that it was wrong.”
Haein had a non-stop off-season. Until April, she competed in the ISU World Team Trophy, and in early May, she went to the United States to get her choreography. After that, she participated in an ice show in Japan. It was her first time taking part in an ice show held overseas. While she usually presented self-choreographed K-POP programs, she decided to challenge herself with a new image by receiving choreography from professional choreographer Misha Ge for “Pink Venom.” She also prepared diligently with choreography by Joy Russell for “Gravity.”
“It was my first time going to Japan for a show. It was also my first time participating in an ice show abroad, and I loved it. Being with other skaters all day during practice, I think my English improved a bit too. Though I lost my AirPods and my favorite case there… I bought even better ones. I plan to challenge myself in another ice show next year.”
After recharging through the ice show, Haein is ready for the new season. Prior to the ISU Senior Grand Prix series, she is preparing rigorously to aim for Grand Prix medals and a spot in the Grand Prix Final. She will compete in the Nepela Memorial Challenger Series in Bratislava, Slovakia, starting on September 28th, and has also received an invitation to the Shanghai Trophy in China, starting on October 3rd. Remembering her goal of wanting to be among the top 6 senior female skaters when she watched them at the 2019 Junior Grand Prix Final, she is training hard to achieve that goal.
“I’m going into my third senior Grand Prix season, and I’ve never won a medal. So, I hope to win a Grand Prix medal this time and bring home a medal from the Grand Prix Final as well.”
As she talked about her new programs, Haein’s face was filled with reminiscence. Perhaps it was because she poured her own story into the programs. The perfection-seeking that makes her feel reborn. contains her own sadness in the Korean sentiment of Han. The story of battling a storm in . Even the new , where Christine doesn’t leave the ghost but returns to the masquerade to dance again. Like an artist introducing her new works, Ha-ein’s eyes sparkled.
“During the World Team Trophy, I mentioned that I would do different music and that it might remind people of my junior days, but it ended up changing. The short program is a secret. It’s a genre that no one has used before. And for the free program, if I were to give a hint, it has a ‘Gypsy-like feeling.’ If I were to express it in colors, the short program would be blue, and the free program would be red.”
Let’s Work Hard
She always keeps this thought. This belief is evident in the training diaries she has consistently written since elementary school. It is a precious record of her growth that she has been diligently maintaining up until her third year of high school.
“Sometimes, there are days when I feel lazy or tired to write. On those days, even if I don’t write diligently, I try to jot down at least the enjoyable things that happened. Writing in the diary feels like practicing my handwriting and vocabulary. After finishing writing, it feels like a book, so I keep it stored and sometimes read it later.”
“When I tried to avoid it, the problem kept getting bigger. So, when I face the problem and say, ‘How can I deal with this? What went wrong?’ It feels like I’m letting go of the burden and becoming lighter. After the Olympic selection event, the moment of falling kept replaying in my head, so I watched that scene again. It was a bit painful, but after that, I didn’t think about it much. Confronting the reality, I move on to the stage of acknowledging, ‘You fell because of this.’ During the competition, it’s all momentary, so you don’t know why you fell. But by watching that part many times, you start thinking, ‘Oh, that’s why I fell.'”
The term ‘positive’ always followed figure skating national representative Lee Haein’s bright smile. However, Haein’s ‘positivity’ was more aligned with the dictionary meaning of ‘considered to be correct and acknowledged’ rather than the conventional meaning of ‘happiness and brightness.’
Haein’s positivity lies in acknowledging and accepting situations as they are, even in difficult circumstances. Embracing her mistakes and falls, she boldly writes a new story on the stage. The shining culmination of ‘Lee Haein’s story,’ yet to come, awaits.
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